How to Care for your Physical Health

“I recognize the challenges that arise when it comes to taking care of yourself. Here are six areas to focus on when it comes to your health. While none of these will be new to you, sometimes we just need a reminder.”
-Jessica N. Turner, The Fringe Hours1. Get regular check-ups. 

  • Annual Physical and Women’s Checkup
  • Dental Cleanings every six months
  • Mammogram every two years if you are over 50 (or earlier if your doctor suggests doing so)
2. Pay attention to your body.
  • Notice any discomforts or pains you might be having.
  • Don’t ignore these signals your body gives.
  • Respond and get things checked out when necessary.
3. Drink lots of water.
  • Your body is 60% water so your body obviously needs it.
  • You will feel better, and your body will function better.
  • Track the water you drink with an app or in your planner.
4. Exercise.
  • Move your body. Start by taking walks and gradually increase your intensity.
  • Grab a friend, or join a group training class at your gym.
  • Take what you learn in the class, and go do it yourself too.
5. Eat healthy.
  • Eat a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains.
  • Try to minimize foods that are processed and high in fat and sugar.
6. Rest.
  • The average woman should get seven to nine hours of sleep a night.
Health Assessment:
When was the last time you went to the doctor? If you have not had a check-up in the past year, call and make an appointment today.How much water do you drink a day?
How much exercise do you get in a week?

What is one way you could work activity into your week?

What is one way you could improve your diet and eat healthier?

How to Care for your Spiritual Well-Being

“When our lives get busy, one of the areas that an suffer is our spiritual health. We might do ‘churchy’ things like go to Bible study or church on Sunday, but that’s where things end. We don’t actively pursue our relationship with our heavenly Father. Your spirituality is personal. It will look different than someone else’s.” – Jessica N. Turner, The Fringe Hours

Here are some ways to nurture your faith…

1. Pray. 

  • “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6
  • Strategic Prayers and Spontaneous Prayers
  • God hears our prayers, and He desires to commune with us in this manner.
  • Consider keeping a prayer journal.
2. Serve in your Local Church.
  • This is where we connect with other believers in a corporate setting to meet with God, study his word, and worship.
  • Do more than just attend services.
  • Get involved with what God is doing, and join Him in his work there.
3. Be in Community. 
  • Fellowship with other believers is an important part of a person’s faith journey.
  • Small Groups, Bible Studies, etc.
  • Doing life together with other like-minded people
4. Read and Study the Bible. 
  • The Word of God is alive, and the more we read it, the more we become in tune with God.
  • The One Year Bible is a great resource.
  • The YouVersion Bible app is another great tool.
5. Feed yourself with Spiritual Things.
  • Books, Music, Blogs, Podcasts, etc.
  • Be intentional in growing your faith.
Spiritual Health Assessment: Consider your spirituality. Is there an area your struggle with? Why or why not? Which of the ways to nurture your faith would you most like to make time for?

How to “Sabbath” (with Free Printable!)

“In the Bible, we see Jesus taking time to be alone and refuel. This is especially apparent after times of busyness, such as when he fed five thousand people. Our commitments should not overrun our lives to the point that we don’t take care of ourselves. Quiet time to invest in ourselves and become restored is incredibly important.”
-Jessica N. Turner from The Fringe Hours

This reminds me of the concept of “Sabbathing”. I recently listened to a podcast episode called “Thinking Differently About Sabbath”, and I loved the concepts discussed. The guest was Shelly Miller, and this was the God Centered Mom podcast by Heather MacFadyen.

So basically, Sabbath which means “to stop; to cease; and to celebrate” should be something that is intentional and planned for – something we anticipate. It is the first time in the Bible that God called something Holy or “set apart”.   It is to be anticipated just like you would a date with your spouse. You set a date on the calendar, and you have to make some arrangements to make it happen. Maybe you have to call a sitter for your kids or something like that? Sabbath is the same way. It’s something we should plan for and prepare for. Maybe it’s by preparing a CrockPot meal so you don’t have too much cooking to do or by pulling out a basket of disposable dishes and cutlery so there are less dishes to wash? Think about what you can do ahead of time to really make the most of your Sabbath time.

Then, when your time to Sabbath arrives, really make the most of it! This is more than just your regular quiet times during the week. This is bonus time – it can be a special date with you and God. Sure, you talk to him every day and hear what He says to you, but take this time and make it extra special somehow. Add in some extra worship that you can’t always make time for in the week. Do a little deeper Bible study. When your time is over, you will feel so refreshed and rejuvenated and ready for your week.

Maybe your whole family will use this time to Sabbath too, in their own ways of course, or maybe all of you Sabbath at different times during the week because it works out better. As I learned in this Podcast, your Sabbath does not have to be on Sunday. If Sundays are busy days for you in the ministry or with work or something else, find another time in the week that works better for you. No problem! What a relief to know that, right?

Does this inspire you like it did me? I’d love to hear about how you will plan to make Sabbath a part of your week. I’m looking forward to being more intentional about this Rhythm of Rest and Sabbath in my life for sure.

How to Sabbath Free Printable

 

Letting Go of Perfection

Perfection. It’s one of those things we have all aimed for at one point or another. We all want to have the perfect body, the perfect house, the perfect children, the perfect everything. We compare ourselves to others to see how we are measuring up, and it’s exhausting. We never can seem to get it all right. Comparison is a thief.

Comparison and striving for perfection leaves us feeling inadequate and less than. It’s not healthy. Perfection isn’t attainable. The only one who’s ever been perfect is Jesus. While, yes, we should strive to always be more like Jesus, perfection is not the life we are called to. We are, instead, called to do the best we can with what we have – to be good stewards of the body, the people, and the things we have been blessed with. That’s a big job in and of itself.

But when we make the decision to be purposeful with our lives – to plan and try do our best, we receive so much grace to allow us to do it. When we let go of perfection, some things may look messy. It may look unaligned and not good enough with our human eyes, but I can assure you God is smiling.

So can we let go of this idea of perfection?

Last night we came home, and the toys needed to be picked up. Several things were out of place. The kitchen was a mess from dinner, and the kids needed baths. We could have spent our evening cleaning until bedtime, and it still would need some help probably. But instead, we put in our Frozen soundtrack, had some living room karaoke, and then we worked on doing handstands in the living room. Lawson said with excitement, “Let’s work on these every day until we get really good at them!” And I’m just thinking that this is awesome – We’ve found something fun we can do together. I’ve been working on this for a while myself with CrossFit, but how cool would it be for him to learn it with me?! (And Linkin is just a natural – he makes it look so easy!)

So I had a fun evening with my children while we waited for Daddy to get home from work. He came home, ate dinner, and took over with the bedtime routine so I could get the kitchen and main areas tidied up. I’m not saying all this to brag. Honestly, this is not my normal habit – but it’s something that I’m learning and I’m working on. It’s why “Read aloud to my children” was a habit I worked on last month, and “Play” is something I’m working on this month. I’m trying to be present. I’m learning that these relationships are more important than any routine or rule I could ever have. While I’m trying to be excellent in keeping our home managed and in order, I’m also trying to steward the hearts of these little people God has given me. Do I want them to look back and remember me as the neat freak who always made them clean up and tidy and put things in order? Well, yes – order is something that I’m teaching them too, but I want them to remember our fun times – the times I wasn’t too busy to sing with them or try to learn something new with them.

Here’s the thing – no two rooms in our home are ever clean at the same time. Seriously I can’t remember the last time. The only way that would ever happen is if my children weren’t here, and that’s obviously not something I want. Instead, we’ve embraced “Clean-ish”, and we try to tidy everything up about twice a day. That’s become good enough for me. I’ve noticed that if I clean up one room, it becomes an invitation to come and play in there. I’m laughing in my head as I write this because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made up my bed, just to have two little boys come in and wrestle on it, climb the headboard of it, and jump on it. I feel like I should also insert #BoyMom right here. I clean up Layten’s room, and Linkin asks if he can bring in his toys and play in there. We clear the living room, and that big rug is so inviting – it must be time to build a train track that fills the entire room! I honestly would not have it any other way! Let me sneak in a quick vacuum of that rug since it’s clear, and then I will help you build that track. #Goals That’s the mom I want to be.

I’m letting go of perfection. Want to try it with me?

My Core Values

Yesterday I shared with you the importance of determining your personal Core Values. If you missed that post, you can find it here, along with the Free Printable Worksheets.

Today, I’m going to share with you my own personal Core Values that I came up with by completing these worksheets, and what they mean to me.

1. Fulfill Vision.
I was debating between the word Vision and Personal Development. I chose Vision because I think it encompasses the bigger picture of my life… my whole goals, desires, and God’s plan for my life. Personal Development and growth will definitely be included in that as I mature as a person and a Christian, but the word Vision speaks to it all as a whole.

2. Pursue excellence. 
Notice that I did not choose “Pursue Perfection”. Perfection is unattainable, and when I’ve pursued perfection, I’ve only been left feeling “less that” or inadequate, not good enough. As I’ve let go of “perfection” and realized the true meaning of the word excellence, I’ve grown as a person I believe. The definition of Excellence that I’m going with is “doing the best I can with what I have”. It may not be the fanciest or the best way to do things, but if it’s the best that I have, then it’s good enough for God. This includes my time, my stewardship of finances, my home life, my family, everything.

3. Realize Uniqueness.
As I learn more and more about myself, my identity, and all of the things that includes – personality typing, cognitive functions, enneagram, strengths finder, love language, spiritual gifts, etc. I realize who I am – why I do the things I do. Some things about me are good. Some not so good.  As with anyone. I want to realize my uniqueness as a person and celebrate that. And also strive for improvements on the areas where I am weak. (Ex. I’m not going to purposefully use my direct personality type as an excuse to be mean to people. That would be no good.) In addition to doing this for myself, I also want to realize the uniqueness in others – especially my immediate family, but also other people I do life with. It will help me to better understand people and not take offense to things. Hopefully, I will be able to also encourage people in their own uniqueness & potential.

4. Produce Well-Being.
This includes my spiritual health, general physical health, fitness, nutrition, but also self-care and stress-relief. I’m beginning to realize the things that cause me stress in life, and I try my best to avoid those things or work around them. It’s not always possible, but I’m doing my best, and I’ve noticed significant improvements in my stress-levels from doing this. I’m working on habits to cultivate growth in my spiritual life and work on improving my general health as well.

5. Focus on Relationships. 
I’m a very task-oriented person, but I’m coming to realize that the Relationships I have are way more important than any Rules or Routines I come up with. It’s hard to put into practice. But I’m trying.

What are your personal Core Values? I’d love to know what you’ve come up with! Share with us in our Purposeful Planning Facebook Group.
(Access Code: Self Care)

Determine Your Core Values (with Free Printable!)

In planning, something I’ve found to be important it to start with the big picture and break it down smaller and smaller into a daily plan of action. Another way to do this is to think backwards.

Visualize with me. Fast forward to the very end of your life. What will matter to you then, when your life is over? Those are the things that will matter now too, and probably the things that you should prioritize. I know death and the end of your life probably aren’t fun things to think about, but if it helps you to live better in the here and the now, then maybe it’s necessary.

Just for kicks – I did a little research for you. I think you will be enlightened by this, just as I was.

Here are the 9 Most Common Regrets People Have at the End of Life:
1. I wish I had been more loving to the people that matter most.
2. I wish I had been a better spouse, parent, or child.
3. I wish I had not spent so much time working.
4. I wish I had taken more risks.
5. I wish I had been happier and enjoyed life more.
6. I wish I had lived my very own dream.
7. I wish I had taken better care of myself.
8. I wish I had done more for others.
9. I wish I had chosen work that was meaningful for me.

Now, let’s think about Core Values. What is a Core Value? It’s a statement that sums up what you believe or what you value most in life. Usually, one will have up to a maximum of five of these statements that really define who they are as a person. It’s a standard that you set for yourself, and you can use it to help you in your decision-making.

Get your FREE Printable Core Values Worksheet! 

Now, would you like some help to determine your own personal core values? I’ve created a step-by-step worksheet just for you! 

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    Discover Your Passions (with Free Printable!)

    If I were to interview you and say, “So tell me about yourself,” what would you say to me?

    Would you say that you are a Wife, a Mother, maybe name some of your roles for me like your Career, your Church Involvement, or your Obligations with your Kid’s school? These are your Relational and Occupational Roles.

    Or would you tell me about the things that you are not OBLIGATED to do, but the things that you actually ENJOY doing…. that you are a Memory Keeper, Writer, Planner, Deal Shopper, StoryTeller, Photographer, Runner, Crafter, etc.? Those things would be your Passions and the things that fulfill you on a very personal level, wouldn’t they?

    So let’s dig a little deeper than the surface level relational roles and hats you wear here… I want you to think about your Passions. The things you Love and Enjoy. The things that excite you? The thing that invigorates you, fulfills you when you get the time to do it?

    Be honest and bold here in your response. What is it that makes you giddy and your heart race? If you are having trouble, take a few more minutes to think about it. It could be that you haven’t made time for yourself in so long that you find it difficult to develop a list. It could also be that, for whatever reason, you’ve stopped doing the thing that you love to do.

    I know that I can say this was true for me. I have always loved to write and been fulfilled in it – even if no one ever read it. But it wasn’t something I pursued because I didn’t have the time. Until I started to MAKE the time. And now, I’m more fulfilled than ever because I’m doing what I love.

    Find whatever it is that you love – the thing you can do for yourself.

    Get my FREE Printable Worksheets to help your Discover your Passions! 

    I’ve created these special worksheets to help you discover exactly what it is that you are passionate about! 

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      Mama Guilt

      “If you don’t make time for yourself, why don’t you?” The most common answer to this question is guilt. Guilt is wreaking havoc on women’s lives and preventing them from taking care of themselves. The first step in eliminating feelings of guilt for investing in yourself is to give yourself permission.” -Jessica N. Turner in The Fringe Hours

      We feel guilty for taking time for ourselves. It’s the silliest thing really. Let me tell you the thing I felt guilty for… In the evenings, my husband would come home and spend time with us, especially our two boys who really wanted time with Daddy after he’d been at work all day. So they would play and wrestle, and I would hold or care for our infant at the time. She wasn’t exactly ready for all the rough-housing that boys do. But at some point in the evening, I would ask my husband if he would take the baby for me so I could get a bath. I always felt guilty for it because the rough and tumble boy play had to come to a halt because now a fragile infant was amongst them. But I just had to tell myself (and sometimes my husband too) that it is okay for me to take a bath. I’m allowed to take one every day. My husband showers every day. My kids take baths every evening (okay not EVERY evening), but I am allowed to do the same. It’s the only time in my day when I was able to get it done, with having an infant who I had to protect and a toddler to supervise. So even though this seems like such a minimal example… it was the first example that came to mind when I thought about the guilt we face as moms.

      Another example of guilt I’ve faced is on the weekends, when I really want to just rest and play with the rest of my family… but “A mother’s work is never done.” There is always more laundry or dishes or food to be prepped or chores that didn’t get finished during the week. But this mama has been working all week, just like everyone else. So while it’s taken quite a while for me to do so, I’ve chosen to “put aside the guilt” of the house not being perfectly cleaned or not having all of the same routines I have during the week. I now take the time to relax and do something I enjoy as well. Sure, I still make sure the family is fed and we have clothes to wear. But its the bare minimum. Usually, you can find me sitting next to my husband on the couch with my planner or laptop while he’s watching football. Both of us are being fulfilled and doing things that we enjoy.

      I know this may not be possible for everyone. You might have sports events on Saturdays, and there are certainly different seasons of life and of the year as well where the obligations are different. As a mom who stays at home during the week, my children and I get the bulk of the chores done throughout the week so we can have time on the weekends with Daddy here. If you are a working woman, this might look a little different. Maybe you could have a Weekly Home Blessing Hour – where each member of your family tackles their own list of chores for one hour, and then you all have the rest of the day to enjoy together. Seriously, set a timer and see how much you can all collectively get done in that time!

      Just try different things to find something that works for you. And then toss away that guilt, and let yourself have some time to do what you really love!

      Everything for Everyone

      We are currently in a Self-Care Challenge Series. Join us in our Facebook group to get more from this challenge! Just use the password “Self Care” to join.

      Miss the first posts of our Self-Care Challenge?? Find them here…
      A New Direction
      Track Where Your Time is Going (with Free Printable!)
      Give Yourself Permission

      “When we live using our God-given talents and passions, I believe we are pleasing him and more fully living the life we were born to live. In your glorious imperfection, you can still shine beautifully bright. Embrace the truth. Stop trying to be ‘everything for everyone’ and start investing in who and what really matters.” -Jessica N. Turner from The Fringe Hours

      It’s so true that we often feel like we are “everything for everyone” as wives and mothers. A lot of times the responsibility of all of the household tasks and parenting lies on our shoulders. It’s not that we don’t have help. Sure, our husbands are there to co-parent with us, and we work together to get things done around the house.

      But as I’m sure you already know, men and women are wired differently. Men are able to “compartmentalize” so much better than we are. One little box for this task. One little box for that task. Each box only contains one thing, and only one box can be open at a time for them. So when they are doing something, they usually do it pretty well. We have to understand this and take this in account when we ask things of them, because it’s easy for us to get frustrated as women when they do things differently than we do.

      With women, everything is intertwined. Maybe you’ve heard that women are like spaghetti? It makes sense. We may be cooking dinner – but we’re also answering a homework question, responding to a text message, listening to a podcast, and thinking about what to do for tomorrow’s lunches. All at once. See what I mean?

      So it’s just natural that although husbands and wives are to work together at the household tasks and responsibilities and parenting, the women are the ones who are thinking about it constantly and usually the ones who are the “managers” of the household for that very reason. And because we are often the “managers”, a lot of the weight usually falls on our shoulders, and we carry it around with us.

      We may be “at work” but we are already thinking about what time we have to pick the kids up and how we will get dinner prepared and homework done before we have to be at that practice. And then – we realize we forgot one of the ingredients for tonight’s meal and there’s no time for a trip to the store.  So here you are on your lunch break (hopefully, wink wink), looking up alternate meal plans for tonight with what you’ve got left in your fridge. And while our husbands are at work, they are really “at work”, and none of this even crosses their minds. Ahh, how nice that must be.

      So wives, mamas, – let’s avoid the overwhelm. Let’s learn how to use our time wisely. Let’s prepare ahead for what we can and do our very best. And most importantly today – let’s give ourselves permission to do something for ourselves so that we don’t feel so out of control and bogged down. I promise you – when you do this, it’s going to make that weight (the normal day to day thoughts and tasks) we inevitably carry seem so much smaller and more manageable, even though it’s really the same all along.

      Give Yourself Permission

      “As moms especially, we often find it hard to give ourselves permission to pursue the things that matter to us. Perhaps we feel that motherhood is our highest calling. And it IS important – don’t get me wrong. But also, maybe deep inside of you… another desire burns. One that is just for you. It might be ignited when you sit down with a good book and a candle burning, in solitude. Or it might be awakened when your feet hit the pavement for an early morning run. Whatever it is, find it.”
      -Jessica N. Turner from The Fringe Hours

      Being a mom is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I am so blessed by my three children. I get to watch them as they sleep, laugh at their silly personalities, and watch them grow into awesome adults a little tiny bit each day. It really does go by so fast like they all say.

      But you know what – I am not ONLY a mother. It’s not my only role in life, and I don’t want to lose myself just because I am a mom now. After all, one day they will be grown and will leave my nest. If being a mother is all that I am, what will I do then? Go crazy, probably. There are enough things here on earth that can make a girl go crazy. That doesn’t need to be one of them. Don’t lose yourself, mamas. It’s not your only role.

      So it’s important that I take care of myself first. When I take care of myself and my well-being, I am fulfilled. I’m my best self. Then, it takes my motherhood (as well as my other roles) to a whole ‘nother level of greatness. When I’m happy, I can help the others in my household to be happy as well. You know the saying, “When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Well maybe it’s true. Find what it is you love to do. Make the time to do it. Be fulfilled. And then go be a mom. Go be a wife. Go be the Christian that God has called you to be. And go do whatever job you are assigned to do right now – whether it’s staying at home with your littles, homeschooling and blogging, or if it’s being a career woman. Go do your thing, and do it well.

      I know as a homeschooling mother, one of the things I think about is what I want my children to grow up to be like. Actually, you probably think about this too for your children. What character traits and values do I want them to have? One of the things that I want for them is that they grow up to love learning new things. I also want them to find what it is that they love and pursue that. I don’t care if it’s helping people find a cure and treat their diseases or fixing cars. It could be performing or teaching or doing missions abroad. I know that God has a plan for each of them. He’s put desires in each of their hearts. They each have their own little personality types and things that make them uniquely them. I don’t want to pressure them to do something that will “make a lot of money” or “be impressive on a resume”. I want them to do what they enjoy, what God has prepared for them to do, and what will ultimately fulfill them in life.

      So if I’m going to encourage my children in this, I have to set the example. I have to be doing the thing that I love, the thing that I enjoy, what God has prepared me to do, and what fulfills me too!

      So Mamas… Women… Whoever is reading this… It’s time to give yourself permission – permission to find and make time to do the thing that you enjoy so that you can be better at all of your other roles.

      Don’t forget to click over and join us in our new Facebook group where we can take these Self-Care Challenge Posts to the next level and apply them in a purposeful way to our own lives. It’s what Purposeful Planning is all about!